Your dog needs a duck. Face it – you’ve been thinking this for a long time. I’m the only person brave enough to tell you straight up – your dog needs a duck.
You might be asking yourself the question, “Does my dog really need a duck?” Friend, yes. And let me tell you why, in five easy steps.
1. A duck will wear your dog out.
That video speaks for itself. Bones are great for puppies and keeping them quiet and busy, but nothing will wear a dog out like a duck. Your dog needs a duck.
2. Ducks keep secrets. They do. Your dog has plenty of secrets which you know nothing about. Be honest – does your dog speak English? NO! So who will your dog tell its secrets to? Another dog? Most likely not. Dogs are jealous creatures. Your dog needs a duck.
3. Ducks divert some attention away from the dog so it can rest. Again, a moment of complete transparency is needed on your part. You dote on your dog, don’t you? You dress it up. You give it plenty of yummy Jones Natural Chews. You take your dog to the park and to the store. You spend every waking moment at home with your dog. It’s okay to admit it. This is a safe place.
But does your dog like all this attention? Does your dog enjoy being dressed up? Does your dog live for this the way you do? No! Your dog needs a little down time. Let’s go back to number two – your dog doesn’t speak English, so it can’t tell you this. This is why your dog needs a duck. Think about the possibilities!
4. Your dog would be fat without a duck. Is your dog looking a little pudgy? Round in the middle? Rolls of fat around its neck? That’s bad for your dog’s health. It’ll shorten the dog’s lifespan. Tsk tsk tsk. And this is why your dog needs a duck. Well, I’m fudging a bit. This is why your dog needs chickens. Chickens will eat the dogs treats, keeping your favorite pet trim and svelte. This will make your dog happy.
5. Too much popularity is bad for your dog’s ego. Yeah, you read that right. You know who you are, flashing your dog’s photo all over the internet. Making your dog famous. Everywhere you go, people talking about how cute your dog is. Gives your dog a swelled head. That stuff matters to dogs. Turns their ego into something the size of Donald Trump’s. But ducks? Ducks don’t have that problem. Because they just don’t care. Truth.
Friends, what does your dog really need? That won’t poop all over your yard or leave feathers in your bed? Your dog really needs some Jones Natural Chews. That’s all. Nothing more. So give your dog a Jones chew today and watch it smile. Naturally.
Until I write again …
Flea
P.S. No dogs, ducks or chickens were harmed in the making of this post.
