Do y’all remember last week when I was a blubbering mess, afraid that the Ebola was going to eat my family alive?
Jen, over at My Brown Newfies, has posted a list of tips on how to talk with your dogs about the Ebola (“the” Ebola is an inside joke here). First, click over to read her post, since it’s fantastic and helpful (and it will open in a separate window). She is so much more laid back than I am. And if you’re new to Jen’s blog, please take some time to click around there. You don’t even have to come back here. I won’t be offended. She’s pawsome!
So I decided to take her advice to heart. Here’s how it went.
- Find a nice quiet spot free from distractions. That didn’t go so well. There are plenty of quiet spots in my child-free home, but nothing free from distractions when Chewy is in the room. The dog can’t sit still to save his life. How am I supposed to talk to the three of them about the Ebola if he’s bouncing off the walls? A treat! Brilliant! Okay, so I bribed them to sit still long enough to have “the talk”.
- Remain calm. Dogs know when their humans are nervous so talk in your calm voice and don’t play with your hands. Yeah. About that. Did you read my post last week? Calm isn’t me when it comes to the Ebola. I started out by having a small drink. Then a little more. Once I was well into my third drink, it was time to have the Ebola talk with the dogs. Oh, and my hands. I’d forgotten where they were at this point. Pretty sure they were still. And I was calm. I might have dozed off at some point …
- Keep to the facts. So at this point I’m a little hazy on what the facts are. I know Jen says to read them straight from the CDC website, but that’s tough to do when your eyes are crossing and everything is just blurry. I struggled through the best I could without crying or freaking out. My dyslexia might have come into play a couple of times. I just can’t be sure …
- Don’t talk about the poor dog that was euthanized in Spain. See? See why I was crying? Talking about such horrible things. Here’s where the affected dyslexia kicks in. I might have said something about the dog in Spain. Then Chewy was all upset. Flash started barking. Patches slunk into the corner. The kids all came down to see what upset the dogs. Then asked why I was sobbing. It was a mess. Kinda like If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, but with no cookie. Now I want a cookie.
- Continue proper hygiene. This was actually a really bad idea. Given the condition I was in. I insisted that all of the dogs climb into the tub for a bath. That didn’t go over so well.
- Limit their media exposure. This was the easy part. Thank goodness! We don’t own a television. And the dogs aren’t allowed to surf the web. Their personal electronic devices have timers, so they’re only allowed so much time online daily. Their favorite places? Dog with a Blog. PBS Dog games. Jones Natural Chews. Jones is their current favorite. They’ve been making a wish list for Christmas.
Until I write again …